Barbie Goes To China

And she adopted a Chinese baby. Maybe.

There was just a knock at the door. Our room attendant, much happier today, handed me a box with a Barbie inside. She's the typical blonde Barbie, but she's holding a baby in front of her. A Guatemalan baby? That's no Chinese baby! That looks like Scarlett, my friend's baby from Guatemala! Tee hee, this is great.

Everyone who stays at White Swan gets a Going Home Barbie. When I first heard of her, I assumed she was Asian. Of course not. She's a white girl who adopted a Chinese/Guatemalan baby. While wearing 6 inch hot pink shoes.

Sorry, sorry. I am not knocking this age old tradition.

Ok I am.

Barbie is about 20 years old, right? So she's not old enough to adopt from China. She meets the weight requirement, that's for sure. Income wise? Oh yeah, Barbie's loaded what with the super fancy townhouse and the Malibu swim house and the clothing line. But she's single. Or did she and Ken get married at this point? She looks amazing for a woman who's spent 2 weeks in China. Shiny, styled hair. The locals must hover around her and take pictures, which Barbie loves. SHe's a fashion model, remember?

Barbie is wearing a multi colored satin wraparound skirt that shows plenty of thigh. 6 inch high heels, as I mentioned. The dress is topped off with a bolero jacket made of woven tweed with gold threads. Matching belt. The Guatemalan/Chinese baby is wearing a ... hmm.... hoochie baby outfit. Purple hot pants with skimpy tank top that ties in the back. Bare feet, which would never go over well in China. Chinese women think babies need covered feet! And she needs a sweater. Chinese women think babies need sweaters inside in the air conditioning.

Barbie and the baby have the same skin color. Barbie needs to stay out of the sun. Skin Cancer and all.

The baby has a head full of plastic black hair. And pink lipstick. Her lipstick matches Barbie's! And yes, that baby is wearing eye liner.

Mattel, Mattel, Mattel. You could have at least made the baby Asian.

But thanks! Miss Boo is going to LOVE her.