Juna is 9 months old today.
I thought I'd do a little update on her progress so far- almost two weeks home.
I still monitor the China adoption boards and love reading referral information, especially from Juna's orphanage (Suichuan SWI.) I love how parents are now celebrating the fact that the baby is from Suichuan, since there has been so many happy adoption stories from that province lately. Add ours to the list.
Even with coming from a "good" orphanage, it's still an orphanage. Juna still has issues when it comes to security and confidence. She worries we will never feed her again. She hates going to sleep. She doesn't like it when we leave the room. Hmmm. These issues are not unlike issues I have had with my bio kids. Which sounds funny to say- like they are science superheros. Bio Kids, to the rescue!
I have learned that it's good to be educated about attachment/bonding/issues that come with children adopted from Chinese orphanages. But I have also learned you can get too wrapped up in the worry over attachment/bonding. You can get too many case studies in your head and start looking for issues that aren't even there. Your child can be crying because her teeth hurt and you instantly think, "She's grieving for her nanny." No, a razor sharp tooth is breaking through her gums. Sometimes the worry over attachment/bonding is blamed on basic baby-related problems. It's good to be educated, it's good to know the signs, but it's also good to just relax and let your child just be a child- not just an orphanage baby.
I use my mother as an example. She has no clue about attachment/bonding. She treats Juna like Juna's been with us forever. At first I was like, "Oh, don't do that, it might scare her.. bonding/attachment/blah blah." Juna and my mother get on famously. They have a great time together. After watching them interact, I learned to just let go a little bit. Let Juna be Juna and not Juna from the Orphanage. It's like Jenny from the Block, but with a lot less bling.
Example? Mom had the three year old in the tub and was holding Juna in her arms while seated in the bathroom. I had sliced my finger open on a knife while making lunch. Again. I do this often. I need Jenny from the Block money I can hire someone to cook for me because obviously I am dangerous in the kitchen. So Mom was wrangling the children, Av was asleep, and I was bleeding everywhere.
Once I realized I didn't need to rush to the ER- again- I peeked into the bathroom. My mother had Juna in the tub with Miss Boo. I said, "No, this is a bad idea, Juna's not used to water and this might scare her off baths forever!"
Puh-leaze. Juna was having the time of her life. Splashing and giggling! It's now a routine. Juna bathes with her big sister for a few minutes out of each bath. They both have a great time and I have cleaner children as a result. And hey- it's BONDING TIME for both of them. Something I wouldn't have realized because I was too worried about Juna's "special issues." So worried about bonding that I didn't give her a chance to bond. Hmmm...
Other things I want to remember:
Juna's boil is almost completely healed thanks to antibiotics. Again- so happy I joined the online group for parents adopting from her orphanage. I expected a boil, I got a boil, I knew how to treat a boil. Thanks, Internet.
I also learned the girls from Suichuan like to sleep with lovies/wubbies/little blankies cuddled to their faces. Juna is using one from when Miss Boo was a baby. We started giving one to Av. The problem is that when Av has on a bib and I'm feeding her, she will rub the bib against her face, stick her thumb in her mouth, and pass out.
Juna is both fascinated and frightened of her older sister. If you know Miss Boo, it's easy to figure out. Miss Boo is... everywhere at once. And not in a subtle way. Juna is also protective of her little sister. She is now rubbing her head against Av to show her love. When I bring Av into the room from a nap, Juna lights up with a big smile. If Av is crying, Juna will pat my leg and go, "Mmm! Mmmm!" As if to say, "Take care of her, Mom!" Not sure if I've written about this yet, but hey- it's not the first time I've repeated myself. Today.
And because the other blog isn't up yet, I have to make a note that Av started babbling today. She looked at me, opened her mouth, and said, "Da da." Then didn't stop saying it. "Da da da da. Ba ba ba ba. Da da ba ba." Then she moved her mouth like she was talking, but no sound came out. And that was it. Nothing more since. Except when I make high pitched noises at her and Juna. Both babies will make high pitched noises back.
I spend most of my days on the floor playing with the babies and Boo. The house is "sanitary, but not clean," to use my friend Britney's famous quote. We're eating meals that friend's have prepared and will continue until the weekend when they run out and I have to start cooking again. Ugh, hate that idea. Not because I hate cooking so much ( I do) but I also I hate tearing myself away from these kids. Even to work- ahhh work. It's REALLY slowed down. But so have I, so I guess it's ok. Right now, the kids are the top priority. There will always be work, but I can't get these young years back again. Some day they will be in school and I can take over the entertainment world. Until then, it's Baby Time!
Yes, it's exhausting. No, I have not done my fabulous Chinese hair-cut hair since we got back. I wear nothing but old Tshirts and sweats. Most get covered in baby snot and cereal. Looks WONDERFUL with the Louis Vuitton I bought in China, let me tell ya. When I can carry my Vuitton, on the rare occasion I do get out of the house. Oh and it's soooo pretty. But I'm not. And that's ok. THIS is what I wanted. THIS is what we worked so hard for all those years. It's happening. And I want to enjoy every single exhausting and amazing moment.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Oriental Marketing
We had our first outing with All My Children today.
We went to the "Asian" section of town. Laughable because it's about one block with some random shops here and there.
By the time we got to that section of town, which was tricky due to highway construction, June Bug had HAD IT with the car seat. It's only her second time in one and the first time was only a five minute drive.
Would it be correct of me to say the market had a "wet section" dedicated to live creatures swimming in tanks? Miss Boo was fascinated with the blue crabs, alive and frantically clicking their claws.
I did not manage to find any of the goodies we fell in love with in China. Items we found in the grocery section of Walmart. I fell in love with a baked good from Taiwan. It came two to a wrapped pack. It was round, about the size of a moon pie, light in color and a bit dry. I was told by my Chinese friend it was a milk cake, made of milk and honey and to be eaten at breakfast with tea. Oh it's soooo good. I cannot find it anywhere around here. I also cannot find Juna's beloved Mo Bao cakes, also from Taiwan.
Matt and I browsed the market and breathed in the smells- the good smells we remembered from China. We both said, "I miss China!" Our biggest regret is not extending our visit AND spending more time in Hong Kong. If he had a job offer in HK (that paid for housing) we'd be gone in a flash.
We did baffle a Chinese man in the market. He stared at me holding Juna, then looked at our basket filled with our other children. Back and forth, back and forth. He stood there and really tried to figure us out.
We did not encounter any Caucasians. In fact, since that was our first outing, we have not encountered any Caucasians. I cannot wait for our first Target trip. I can just imagine the stares. I will post when I get my first question inquiring as to how we became this particular family. Especially since the youngest is so fair haired with blue eyes. We are an odd family. In so many ways.
So many people go to China on their adoption trips and dislike it greatly. We totally fell in love. Most evenings I sit here and long to be back again.
And that was our first outing. Other than Juna freaking out in the car and us not being able to find our favorite goodies, it went fairly well.
We went to the "Asian" section of town. Laughable because it's about one block with some random shops here and there.
By the time we got to that section of town, which was tricky due to highway construction, June Bug had HAD IT with the car seat. It's only her second time in one and the first time was only a five minute drive.
Would it be correct of me to say the market had a "wet section" dedicated to live creatures swimming in tanks? Miss Boo was fascinated with the blue crabs, alive and frantically clicking their claws.
I did not manage to find any of the goodies we fell in love with in China. Items we found in the grocery section of Walmart. I fell in love with a baked good from Taiwan. It came two to a wrapped pack. It was round, about the size of a moon pie, light in color and a bit dry. I was told by my Chinese friend it was a milk cake, made of milk and honey and to be eaten at breakfast with tea. Oh it's soooo good. I cannot find it anywhere around here. I also cannot find Juna's beloved Mo Bao cakes, also from Taiwan.
Matt and I browsed the market and breathed in the smells- the good smells we remembered from China. We both said, "I miss China!" Our biggest regret is not extending our visit AND spending more time in Hong Kong. If he had a job offer in HK (that paid for housing) we'd be gone in a flash.
We did baffle a Chinese man in the market. He stared at me holding Juna, then looked at our basket filled with our other children. Back and forth, back and forth. He stood there and really tried to figure us out.
We did not encounter any Caucasians. In fact, since that was our first outing, we have not encountered any Caucasians. I cannot wait for our first Target trip. I can just imagine the stares. I will post when I get my first question inquiring as to how we became this particular family. Especially since the youngest is so fair haired with blue eyes. We are an odd family. In so many ways.
So many people go to China on their adoption trips and dislike it greatly. We totally fell in love. Most evenings I sit here and long to be back again.
And that was our first outing. Other than Juna freaking out in the car and us not being able to find our favorite goodies, it went fairly well.
Friday, July 13, 2007
How it's going
I've been fighting with this. Do I blog or not?
I made a pledge to be honest and honest I shall be.
It's hard. It's really really hard. It's wonderful and it sucks all at the same time.
The wonderful parts are obvious. Three amazing girls. The sucky parts are also obvious. The fatigue, the worry, the guilt, not enough hours or energy for one day. Blah blah.
Being on the go 24 hours a day is difficult, I cannot lie. It would help if I was in excellent shape. There's a lot of getting onto the floor. Getting up from the floor. Bending. Stooping. Racing around. I'm 36 years old. I'm a bit old for this. I will be in shape shortly, I will have you know. There's no way a person can race around this much and eat this little without shedding a pound or two. Knowing me, I won't. And we can have a little chuckle over that someday. Ahhh someday. Why aren't you now?
My children haven't gotten used to that fact that there's three of them yet. They have those huge soulful eyes and when they well up with tears because they've been made to wait for two minutes for something, it just kills me. In time, they will get used to one another and learn how to handle life with two other siblings. And I do think about that a lot. THe future. When they can talk to each other and tackle each other and drive each other crazy instead of me.
We've gotten taking care of their basic needs down pretty quickly. Everything in our house is organized to take care of the babies. There is never a wet wipe far out of reach. The bottle station is all set up with different sets and different formula for each girl's needs. The Big Girl now has a doll posse that goes everywhere she goes. They sleep at one end of the bed, she sleeps at the other.
Oh- for those of you who watch Between the Lions, you will get a chuckle out of this. Boo has a Cinderella doll. She hangs her by her hands from a shelf. Then she calls for Cliff Hanger to come rescue her. Because Cinderella and Cliff Hanger are getting married!
For the most part, everything is running quite smoothly. Our house now resembles the orphanage Juna came from. All cribs and toys and bottle station and children everywhere. My super sleek red couches are now covered in.. what IS that? Ahhh home sweet hell.
I joke. I joke because if I don't, I will tear out all my hair and run naked through the streets of Downtown. I joke so I'm not tomorrow's top news story.
The struggle I'm having is with my emotions. I have constant Mom Guilt that I'm not doing enough for each child. That each one isn't getting enough individualized attention. That we did Juna a disservice by adopting her. Oh yes, my mind has gone so far as to wonder if she was better off in the orphanage! I know, it's crazy. I just lack confidence right now. I feel like Juna thinks she went from one orphanage to another. Would she have had a better life with a family with no other children? The amount of times I've had to say, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" to her is unreal.
Just what am I sorry for? We gave her a small, but comfortable home. There are toys everywhere, I swear, the toys! We gave her an endless supply of food, love, comfort, and SISTERS. Why do I feel so badly for her?
I can't help the emotions and the questions and the doubt.
Am I mom enough for all these girls?
The sleep issue, for all of us, is not good. Avie must be cutting every single tooth at once. And she's a screamer. Man can that little preemie let out a wail. June Bug is still scared to fall asleep at night. And who can blame her, with a wailing banshee in the next crib? Pats on the back seem to work. But mom and dad have to sleep SOMETIME.
When I get the chance to sleep, I can't. I cannot shut off my brain. Typical.
I also have not left the house with the babies yet. We are going to try this weekend. I am not confident enough to do it alone. Yet I have to get Juna used to her car seat and being on the go from time to time.
In time, right?
The rewards? Today June Bug pulled at my hair. I made a mock, "AHHH" sound. She reached forward and hugged me. Hugged me. Oh it was precious. She is also starting to say Mama. And when Matt comes home from work, she reaches for him with a big smile. She is also starting to say Ba ba.
Also today, Avie got up on all fours and rocked back and forth. She's trying so hard so crawl. She'll be seven months old in a few weeks, five months adjusted for prematurity. She watches Juna and copies her sounds and movements.
And Miss Boo? She makes me laugh so hard, my sides ache. My comic relief, that girl. She really helps me get through the day with a smile on my face.
When I get down, I think of three special friends of mine who are currently in fertility treatment/domestic adopting. They are my strength right now to quit whining and be strong and look at the good, not obsess on the fatigue and the worry and Mama Guilt.
Two months from now, I want to look back on this post and just laugh because we conquered this phase and lived to laugh about it.
I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I hope I have gotten it across clearly in this post. I'm so thrilled we did this. But I'm not so far gone that I think it's a cake walk. Mmmm cake.... I also know that this adjustment phase, while trying, will end eventually. I just wanted to get it out there so I can remember this time. Since I can barely remember my own name. It's so good to have it documented. And I wanted people reading this to know what it's really like in our unique situation.
This is the Adjustment Phase. We're adjusting.
I made a pledge to be honest and honest I shall be.
It's hard. It's really really hard. It's wonderful and it sucks all at the same time.
The wonderful parts are obvious. Three amazing girls. The sucky parts are also obvious. The fatigue, the worry, the guilt, not enough hours or energy for one day. Blah blah.
Being on the go 24 hours a day is difficult, I cannot lie. It would help if I was in excellent shape. There's a lot of getting onto the floor. Getting up from the floor. Bending. Stooping. Racing around. I'm 36 years old. I'm a bit old for this. I will be in shape shortly, I will have you know. There's no way a person can race around this much and eat this little without shedding a pound or two. Knowing me, I won't. And we can have a little chuckle over that someday. Ahhh someday. Why aren't you now?
My children haven't gotten used to that fact that there's three of them yet. They have those huge soulful eyes and when they well up with tears because they've been made to wait for two minutes for something, it just kills me. In time, they will get used to one another and learn how to handle life with two other siblings. And I do think about that a lot. THe future. When they can talk to each other and tackle each other and drive each other crazy instead of me.
We've gotten taking care of their basic needs down pretty quickly. Everything in our house is organized to take care of the babies. There is never a wet wipe far out of reach. The bottle station is all set up with different sets and different formula for each girl's needs. The Big Girl now has a doll posse that goes everywhere she goes. They sleep at one end of the bed, she sleeps at the other.
Oh- for those of you who watch Between the Lions, you will get a chuckle out of this. Boo has a Cinderella doll. She hangs her by her hands from a shelf. Then she calls for Cliff Hanger to come rescue her. Because Cinderella and Cliff Hanger are getting married!
For the most part, everything is running quite smoothly. Our house now resembles the orphanage Juna came from. All cribs and toys and bottle station and children everywhere. My super sleek red couches are now covered in.. what IS that? Ahhh home sweet hell.
I joke. I joke because if I don't, I will tear out all my hair and run naked through the streets of Downtown. I joke so I'm not tomorrow's top news story.
The struggle I'm having is with my emotions. I have constant Mom Guilt that I'm not doing enough for each child. That each one isn't getting enough individualized attention. That we did Juna a disservice by adopting her. Oh yes, my mind has gone so far as to wonder if she was better off in the orphanage! I know, it's crazy. I just lack confidence right now. I feel like Juna thinks she went from one orphanage to another. Would she have had a better life with a family with no other children? The amount of times I've had to say, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" to her is unreal.
Just what am I sorry for? We gave her a small, but comfortable home. There are toys everywhere, I swear, the toys! We gave her an endless supply of food, love, comfort, and SISTERS. Why do I feel so badly for her?
I can't help the emotions and the questions and the doubt.
Am I mom enough for all these girls?
The sleep issue, for all of us, is not good. Avie must be cutting every single tooth at once. And she's a screamer. Man can that little preemie let out a wail. June Bug is still scared to fall asleep at night. And who can blame her, with a wailing banshee in the next crib? Pats on the back seem to work. But mom and dad have to sleep SOMETIME.
When I get the chance to sleep, I can't. I cannot shut off my brain. Typical.
I also have not left the house with the babies yet. We are going to try this weekend. I am not confident enough to do it alone. Yet I have to get Juna used to her car seat and being on the go from time to time.
In time, right?
The rewards? Today June Bug pulled at my hair. I made a mock, "AHHH" sound. She reached forward and hugged me. Hugged me. Oh it was precious. She is also starting to say Mama. And when Matt comes home from work, she reaches for him with a big smile. She is also starting to say Ba ba.
Also today, Avie got up on all fours and rocked back and forth. She's trying so hard so crawl. She'll be seven months old in a few weeks, five months adjusted for prematurity. She watches Juna and copies her sounds and movements.
And Miss Boo? She makes me laugh so hard, my sides ache. My comic relief, that girl. She really helps me get through the day with a smile on my face.
When I get down, I think of three special friends of mine who are currently in fertility treatment/domestic adopting. They are my strength right now to quit whining and be strong and look at the good, not obsess on the fatigue and the worry and Mama Guilt.
Two months from now, I want to look back on this post and just laugh because we conquered this phase and lived to laugh about it.
I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I hope I have gotten it across clearly in this post. I'm so thrilled we did this. But I'm not so far gone that I think it's a cake walk. Mmmm cake.... I also know that this adjustment phase, while trying, will end eventually. I just wanted to get it out there so I can remember this time. Since I can barely remember my own name. It's so good to have it documented. And I wanted people reading this to know what it's really like in our unique situation.
This is the Adjustment Phase. We're adjusting.
Shower the people
My friend, the ultimate shower-er (she's so clean) is throwing a diaper shower for Juna.
August 4th
4ish, I think...
Ladies only, no children except the guest of honor
Asian themed, of course
If you are a local friend and this interests you, please email me or leave a comment with a way to contact you.
Some of you will be contacted via email by my friend anyway.
But if you think we will forget you because I'm in a fog, remind me, ok?
Who does this kind of stuff? Who posts on their blog saying, "Hey, are you my friend? Do you want to come to my party? Pwetty pwease? PS Who are you again?"
I do. And that's why you find me oh so charming.
Heh
August 4th
4ish, I think...
Ladies only, no children except the guest of honor
Asian themed, of course
If you are a local friend and this interests you, please email me or leave a comment with a way to contact you.
Some of you will be contacted via email by my friend anyway.
But if you think we will forget you because I'm in a fog, remind me, ok?
Who does this kind of stuff? Who posts on their blog saying, "Hey, are you my friend? Do you want to come to my party? Pwetty pwease? PS Who are you again?"
I do. And that's why you find me oh so charming.
Heh
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
A routine is getting established
It's a little easier. A little. Slowly. Bit by bit.
The babies are getting on a schedule. I know, some of you roll your eyes at my schedule. Talk to me when you have multiples. Then you won't be able to roll your eyes. Your eyes will be too tired to even blink.
Avie is cutting her first tooth and spends most of her time gnawing on teethers. When a teether isn't in her mouth, she's wailing. Keeping Av comfortable has been my biggest challenge.
J Bug plays happily her toys. When I sing to her, she pounds out the beat on the floor with a rattle. The orphanage had said, "The baby loves the music." They were right. Each day she learns to trust us and her new environment even more. She's learning that her big sister is loud and crazy and her little sister hates getting teeth. She will reach over and pat Avie when she cries. When Avie goes on too long, Juna will pinch her.
Part of the schedule is to feed the babies their solids around 4pm. I put Avie in her car seat and sit Juna next to her. I feed one, then the other. Two birds with their mouths open, ready for more. Today I set up Avie, grabbed the bowls and Juna crawled over and sat next to her sister. After just one day, she knew what was coming and what to do. She catches on so quickly. Which is why the routine is good for her. She feels comforted by knowing what the day holds for her.
Miss Boo has a special big girl day today. My mom watched the babies while I picked up Miss Boo from camp. She raced into my arms and when I said we'd be going out to lunch, she screamed for joy. Screamed. SOOO happy to get alone time with mommy. We had lunch, then I took her shopping for a new doll. She wanted a King Triton doll from Little Mermaid but he doesn't exist at Target. She got Sleeping Beauty AND Belle. Hooray for clearance. ANd when I got home, the babies were napping right on schedule and my mom wasn't completely bald from pulling out her hair in frustration. She actually had a good time with the girls. Who knew my mother could handle "twins."
It might have just been Mr Goodcents and Target with a three year old, but I was out of the house and MAN did that feel GREAT!
The only time my new life is difficult is when I seriously lack in sleep. Say five hours or less a night. I cry a lot on those days. I don't handle sleep deprivation very well. On the days I get at least 7 hours, I am Super Mama!
I had much to discuss with you, but I can only blog in the evenings. Around 730pm, I start to zone out. Perhaps in the future I will have more energy for my old hobbies again. Too tired to blog, imagine that! I have more to discuss about China.
Which reminds me of something... ok, I will leave you with this last story.
You know how most people are really scared of the toilets in China? The Squatty Potties? Well I had a toilet experience today in the good ol USA that I just have to share.
Miss Boo had to poop. Of course she had to poop in a public toilet. She did her thing, I got her all cleaned up and happy. I told her not to flush. I like to use a piece of toilet paper to touch the handle. I leaned over, flushed, and the super powerful USA toilet was so powerful, it sent sprays of toilet water all over my face. Miss Boo poopy toilet water.
That would never happen on a Chinese Squatty Potty.
So there you go. Score one for the Chinese toilet. And the Neutrogena company. I probably used an entire container of face wash to get rid of that experience.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Friends are asking what they can do to help. You know what would be so appreciated? Food. A small dish of something I can quickly heat up and serve. Just during this adjustment period when there's little to no time to cook and we are both too tired to even function. That would be wonderful! Thank you!
Sunday was rough, I won't even try to make it sound any other way. It was just plain awful. The reason? Mom and Dad were running on no sleep. It is impossible to get anything accomplished or just enjoy being alive when one is that tired. We took turns during the day taking mini naps, as there was so much that needed to be done. I had to work. Car seats needed to be installed. Items for babies needed to be purchased. And the babies were on different schedules. There wasn't one single break yesterday between babies, chores, and trying to sleep. I don't consider a nap a break. It's a chore. When I lay down and HAVE to sleep, I can't. "Come on, come on, FALL ASLEEP ALREADY!" The pressure makes me anxious and I cannot drift off.
But we made it through the day. And now it's Monday and we both got some sleep and the world is a much nicer place.
Today I had to take June Bug in for a series of blood tests. I first went to a lab close to the house. No one was at the front desk, but I could hear the lady talking in the back room. I knocked on the window. I called out. Nothing. The lady kept talking and talking. So I took Juna's rattle and shook it as hard as I could. The lady came flying out to the front desk. "Oh, I didn't know someone was here!" Then she told me that she couldn't help me. She couldn't give a baby a blood test on her own, she needed two people. Go to the lab down the street. Ok fine. Loaded up the baby and guess what the gal wants to do? Ask me ALL about adoptions. The baby is screaming, I'm rushing, and this chick is asking me how much the adoption cost! Second time it's happened since landing in the good ol USA. The first was by the flight attendant from Chicago to STL. The nerve.
I'm usually pretty polite but today I just turned around and left while she was still talking. Totally unlike me, but come on. I've got a screaming baby!
We went to the next lab. No other customers, good. Told them what happened. They said, "What it the lab on (BLAH BLAH) street?" I nodded and they rolled their eyes. "You don't need two people, she's just lazy."
One problem. They couldn't find a good vein. The baby is so upset and crying so loudly and they keep moving the band from arm to arm and she's being pinched and is so scared. They took THREE STICKS and still did not get blood from her. I finally said, "ENOUGH," and was told to come back another day. Juna buried her head on my shoulder and I rocked her to sleep. Tucked her into her car seat, and went to the door of the lab. 12 customers in that lab and not one person offered to get the door for me. There was a lady standing there with a very bad Louis Vuitton fake purse, I might add, and she just looked at me. She watched as I struggled to open the door. Didn't even reach forward to hold the door for me.
Then I get to the front door of the main medical building. Again, I am having trouble with the door. I've got two people behind me and one on the other side of the door. Did any of them get the door for me? Of course not. They made the lady holding the carseat in BOTH hands get the door for all of them.
Honestly, what is wrong with people???
I miss China. I miss how polite people are. I miss good service.
Oh, and how odd is this- there was a ladybug crawling on the box of gloves in the lab. Ladybugs are a big sign for those of us in the China adoption community. Usually it's a good sign. This ladybug was slightly yellow. Maybe THAT's a sign of it's own.
Alright, it's baby time. Back later.
Sunday was rough, I won't even try to make it sound any other way. It was just plain awful. The reason? Mom and Dad were running on no sleep. It is impossible to get anything accomplished or just enjoy being alive when one is that tired. We took turns during the day taking mini naps, as there was so much that needed to be done. I had to work. Car seats needed to be installed. Items for babies needed to be purchased. And the babies were on different schedules. There wasn't one single break yesterday between babies, chores, and trying to sleep. I don't consider a nap a break. It's a chore. When I lay down and HAVE to sleep, I can't. "Come on, come on, FALL ASLEEP ALREADY!" The pressure makes me anxious and I cannot drift off.
But we made it through the day. And now it's Monday and we both got some sleep and the world is a much nicer place.
Today I had to take June Bug in for a series of blood tests. I first went to a lab close to the house. No one was at the front desk, but I could hear the lady talking in the back room. I knocked on the window. I called out. Nothing. The lady kept talking and talking. So I took Juna's rattle and shook it as hard as I could. The lady came flying out to the front desk. "Oh, I didn't know someone was here!" Then she told me that she couldn't help me. She couldn't give a baby a blood test on her own, she needed two people. Go to the lab down the street. Ok fine. Loaded up the baby and guess what the gal wants to do? Ask me ALL about adoptions. The baby is screaming, I'm rushing, and this chick is asking me how much the adoption cost! Second time it's happened since landing in the good ol USA. The first was by the flight attendant from Chicago to STL. The nerve.
I'm usually pretty polite but today I just turned around and left while she was still talking. Totally unlike me, but come on. I've got a screaming baby!
We went to the next lab. No other customers, good. Told them what happened. They said, "What it the lab on (BLAH BLAH) street?" I nodded and they rolled their eyes. "You don't need two people, she's just lazy."
One problem. They couldn't find a good vein. The baby is so upset and crying so loudly and they keep moving the band from arm to arm and she's being pinched and is so scared. They took THREE STICKS and still did not get blood from her. I finally said, "ENOUGH," and was told to come back another day. Juna buried her head on my shoulder and I rocked her to sleep. Tucked her into her car seat, and went to the door of the lab. 12 customers in that lab and not one person offered to get the door for me. There was a lady standing there with a very bad Louis Vuitton fake purse, I might add, and she just looked at me. She watched as I struggled to open the door. Didn't even reach forward to hold the door for me.
Then I get to the front door of the main medical building. Again, I am having trouble with the door. I've got two people behind me and one on the other side of the door. Did any of them get the door for me? Of course not. They made the lady holding the carseat in BOTH hands get the door for all of them.
Honestly, what is wrong with people???
I miss China. I miss how polite people are. I miss good service.
Oh, and how odd is this- there was a ladybug crawling on the box of gloves in the lab. Ladybugs are a big sign for those of us in the China adoption community. Usually it's a good sign. This ladybug was slightly yellow. Maybe THAT's a sign of it's own.
Alright, it's baby time. Back later.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
The girls, the story
A hilarious picture. Poor Avie looks like she wants to flee back to my mother's house. Juna looks like she wants to reach up and back hand her older sister. And Miss Boo? Looks like Miss Boo always does- amusing! And Matt? Fast forward 12 years and I betcha that brown hair has turned white.
There's a lot of people reading this blog who don't know our full story. I'd like to share a brief version, because I know some of you are curious. You said so in your emails!
Miss Boo was born after years of infertility treatment. Textbook pregnancy and delivery.
When she was 14 months, we went back for more treatment. I got pregnant, and had a miscarriage with a D and C.
We decided to adopt several months later.
During the long wait, I became pregnant. It's interesting how it happened. I mean, beyond the obvious, heh.
We were at our agency's adoption education seminar. (NO, not there!!) We were seated at a table with other couples. I mentioned out loud that since we weren't going to CHina anytime soon, we'd love a vacation. No, we NEEDED a vacation or I was going to go crazy. A Disney cruise sounded great, didn't it?
The lady across from me got out a card. Her sister was a Disney vacation planner. Give her a call, see what she could do.
Three weeks later and we were sailing!
Two weeks after getting home and two lines appeared on a pregnancy test.
The pregnancy was rough. We almost lost her several times. I was in and out of the hospital and on bed rest and going in for test after test. It was a nightmare. At 32 weeks pregnant, on Christmas to be exact, I wasn't feeling well. I felt so awful, I should have gone straight to the hospital. I didn't. I didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. STUPID STUPID STUPID!! Me, someone who isn't a big Christmas person to begin with!
My 3 pound baby was born by emergency C section the next day. It was such an emergency, the doctor warned my husband in private that it, "might not end well." There was a concern both of us wouldn't make it.
After only 23 days in the NICU, my 4 pound sweetheart came home. We put all of our energy into her care and making sure she was going to be ok. Oh, she's such a sweet baby. When she smiles, her entire body curls into a ball, she's that happy. She's the kind of person you want to hang out with, if that makes sense.
After numerous talks with our agency, we all agreed to continue with the adoption. It was planned so that the baby would be just about a year old when the adoption went through.
I think we have all learned that the matching process in China is a magical one. Yes, things happened a bit quicker than expected. But could anyone argue that she isn't the perfect child for our family?
Watching the girls together, I am reminded of how well she was matched with us. She is outgoing, she loves music, she is playful, and she adapts so well to new situations. She picks up on new things so quickly. Show her something once and she's got it for life. She's early with her motor skills (as are the other two girls.) Where Miss Boo is dramatic and crazy, Avie is so laid back and happy, and Juna is very serious and more reserved but also a lot of fun and can be quite silly. The sisters balance each other out perfectly- already! I cannot wait to watch them grow up together.
No, this isn't easy. I have a whole new respect for moms of multiples. Everyone has that fantasy of twins, but the reality? Yeah, it's a lot of work. And that's an understatement.
When I get overwhelmed, I remind myself of everything I've been through in life to this point. I think about the time when Miss Boo was rushed to the hospital for an emergency and I was suddenly surrounded by a team of doctors giving me bad news and I felt the world spin out of control. It's the first time in my life I realized why people who get bad news suddenly lose their footing. And everything we went through to get Avie into the world. That loss of footing happened numerous times while pregnant and after. And the miscarriage- do you ever truly recover from that? That kind of pain is something that you never forget. It smacks you upside the head and keeps smacking you when you get all, "Woe is me."
After all I've been through to get these kids into my life and keep them there, I think I can handle two babies at once.
I'm a warrior. Yet I'm still an emotional softie. I picture myself covered in armor, but if you remove that armor, you see the Pilsbury Dough Girl. I'm the Pilsbury Dough Warrior.
I'm a strong woman, but I'm an emotional woman. I vent. I cry. I get it all out. I don't keep any emotions inside. Maybe I'm healthier as a result? I know people think I'm nuts for blogging it for the world to read, but others also thank me for being honest and sharing the reality of this situation.
It's bad. And it's amazing. It's draining. And it's uplifting.
Tonight, I had my girls in their cribs. I was singing them to sleep. My singing was making them both laugh. Avie laughed so hard she curled into a little ball. June Bug peeked through the crib and grinned and grinned and said, "Ahhhhh!" I got choked up. My girls! My beautiful babies.
There is no doubt I love my children. I'm going to be tired and frazzled and emotional and crazy, but wow do I love my children.
Thanks to my mother and Kat for coming over. Thank you, Kat, for going to the Asian market and the grocery store. I could get used to three adults to three children. Don't spoil me, please!
I will have more information coming about our trip through customs and immigration- might be helpful for families traveling soon. I'm also thrilled to hear from the other Suichuan Mamas. I will have more tips for you, too, just as soon as I get more time to blog.
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